Hell No, I'm Not Dying Right Now, Thanks.

(Note: When I include links in my posts, they always open in new windows)

I read this article tonight: Life Span of Multiple Myeloma Patients

Then I read this one: SEER Stat Fact Sheets: Myeloma

And of course, this one, which is responsible for my Blog's Title: Multiple Myeloma


I'm not going to lie. This is the very first time I got shook up. It was a quiet night around here, and I was browsing my laptop looking at all the photo's of my kids and family that I have. Suddenly, I felt very mortal. But just for a little while.

I've never fit into too many molds. I have managed to pull off a lot of things that people said I wouldn't or couldn't do. I wasn't always a flop, either. I know that right now I'm working a very menial job and that I'm far removed from the life I led just 5 years ago. I was a community college grad (which seems to make one a bit of a joke, it seems) but I managed to achieve the position of Director at Merrill Lynch (when it was a respectable, upstanding company), and I'd started out as a coffee boy/flunky. And I was the first one in my family to get a Bachelor's Degree. Ever.

My personal life hasn't followed any prescription, either. Looking at my life, you can see proof that men and women can be friends. Some of the best friends I've ever had, and still have, are women. I have friends as young as 19 and as old as 75. And I manage to keep those friendships healthy. So yeah, I'm a screwball by conventional standards.

But that keeps me from accepting limits. This is not the same as living in denial, mind you.

And god damn it, I'm not going to accept any life expectancy limitations. These articles shook me up, for sure, because they opened my eyes up a little bit more, and I realize how formidable this opponent is. Not that I was taking it lightly from the get-go, but I most definitely need to man up a little more and train just a little bit harder for the next few rounds.

I didn't cry. Almost, but I didn't. I don't want Myeloma to ever see me cry. So, please pardon the language, but as they say on Twitter, #fuckcancer.