This is where cancer really hurts. I've been relatively lucky. I've endured only limited bouts of bone pain, nausea, vomiting etc. I've had a prolonged bout with peripheral neuropathy, but it's manageable, at least for me.
This cancer has inflicted hell on my family, however. I've already explained how I was out of work from 2007 until 2011. Our savings disappeared, we couldn't pay our bills. I was able to do just enough to put food on the table. And just about the time I secured gainful employment, wham! Diagnosis:Cancer.
I'd had a grand plan, albeit slightly delusional. I was going to fix it all. Bankruptcy laws are there to protect families like mine. And believe me, all things aside, declaring and leaving a bunch of blood-sucking debt collectors high and dry would soften the sting of having to declare.
But my rescue plan isn't quite what I hoped it would be. It's going to come up short. And that's where the real pain kicks in. I have to face the fact that my family is losing our home. And while I'm fighting my own battle, my oldest daughter became very Ill. My wife endured serious injuries to her feet, yet now manages to work a job in a restaurant. My son is working. He can't go to college for the simple reason that we lost a car and he has no transportation. My youngest daughter is a high school freshman doing what she can to maintain a good grade average.
And Daddy sits, trying to build an immune system so that he can re-enter the workforce. And he watches the world crumble. My many friends have set up an online fundraising campaign site to try and help with the medical bills and life expenses, but I can't hope for that to be the fix.
My kids were never over-indulged nor spoiled. But I struggle every day to try and provide the basic needs, and I see the toll it takes. And that's what can reduce a once-proud and capable father to tears in the middle of the night.
That is the real pain of cancer for me.
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