79 Days Into The Fight

My life has a lot of aspects to it right now.

I'm living a very ordinary one, to begin with. My body is adjusting pretty well to the chemo, and my side effects are minimal. My vision is about the worst of things. The steroids apparently cause blurry vision. I did get a new pair of eyeglasses as it was probably time for that anyway. I'm back to work, and that's going well. I work with some really terrific people who are watching out for me. It's funny at my age to have a bunch of new "Moms" keeping an eye on me, and I'll take it. I do sleep a lot, but that's how we recharge the batteries, right? I eat well (sometimes too well!) and my life's routine is almost back to normal, however boring that is.

I'm living a very lucky life too. When I go into the Center for my treatments, I see some people who are so desperately ill and it touches the heart to see them smiling and battling. There aren't any grouchy people there, and that's incredible. There are people well into their 70's and 80's, sick as can be, and they're cheerful. Everyone chats, shares snacks and treats, and under other circumstances, this could be a fun group to hang out with. There's a NJ State Trooper, in his 30's, who is being treated for Leukemia, and he's the unofficial mayor of the clinic. He makes his rounds, chatting people up and making friends. There's another gentleman who is 79, I believe, and he really is a "gentleman." He sits quietly, but responds cheerfully when spoken to, and reads his newspaper. (Remember those?) But whenever I feel whiny, I think about the people who are fighting much bigger battles than I am. Mine is not a death sentence, mine is not so awful. It's taken its toll on my body, for sure, but there is a bright future possible for me. I know, from much experience, that some cancers are still killers. But that doesn't seem to discourage any of my chemo buddies, and that's so inspiring. I can't be a baby in that kind of company, now can I?

My friends have put together a blood donation drive for me. It's September 29th and it's such an honor. Some people have really stepped up with a ton of support for me, and sometimes I don't feel as though I deserve that much love, but again, I'll take it. I know for sure that my heart is very much alive because it's swollen with love and gratitude. No man is an island, and that sure is true when you need a hand.

I'm aiming to keep these posts short, so I'll quit for now. I'm also going to try and make this a little lighter and sillier. Being so serious just doesn't feel right. I'll work on that.