Radiation Oncology

Nice waiting area!

Shining Star

Today I'm going to Centra State Hospital in Freehold, NJ. I'm going to consult with a Radiological Oncologist. The cancer has been kicking the hell out of my legs and my doctor thinks that radiation can help alleviate some of the problems and let me stop walking like the Mummy.

It should be all good. We'll get the Christmas tree set up and use me as the tree-topper. I figure I'll glow brightly for a while and I'll look good up there.

I'm determined to make it a good holiday. Medical expenses will keep me from having a banner year for my kids as far as gifts, but we'll have a great Christmas anyway, just by being together.

And eating. I love to eat.

I really hope the radiation will help. Let's keep our fingers crossed, ok?

Boring!

I sat and looked at my blog tonight and I realized what a boring writer I am. I guess I am trying too hard to write really profound things.

I guess the biggest problem I have is that there really isn't anything profound going on in my life. I'm getting through the treatments, and I am honestly not feeling too badly these days.

I have an appointment with a radiologist on Friday. My leg bones are really mashed up and giving me a lot of trouble. I don't know if you call them lesions  or tumors, but whatever they are they are very active. The doctor seems to think that radiation will help alleviate some of the discomfort, so I'm all for that.

Life has been pretty good for me these days and when I see patients with other kinds of cancer, I realize that I am not too bad off.

My appetite has been out of control, which is a good thing. I've been struggling to maintain weight.  I guess I'll just have to keep eating!

I am going to try and liven things up in here from now on. Stay tuned!

An Update

There is a lot of technical stuff going on, things that I don't quite understand myself. That's why doctors go to medical school and learn about all this. I don't have to know what every detail means, I just leave it to the docs to fix it.
I met with the transplant team in Hackensack University. During this meeting, I learned that I have something called "chromosome 17 deletion." I don't know the physiology of this detail, I just know that it's going to complicate things a whole lot. Now, instead of just having a transplant of my own stem cells (not bone marrow), I will have my own stem cells transplanted (autologus transplant) and that will be followed by a stem cell transplant from a donor. This will most likely be one of my siblings.
There will be a lot of chemotherapy. There will be a long, long period of recovery (6 to 9 months). There are no guarantees of outcome, unfortunately. What we're striving to avoid is something called "refractory myeloma", which basically means that if there is a relapse, the cancer comes back in a form that is more difficult to treat each time it does relapse.
Sounds gloomy, right? The way I see it, this is just a different scenario. I have to fight the same fight, with a few extra tricks to pull out of the hat. It's not going to be easy at all, but who ever really plans on "easy"? I have the challenges in front of me, and I know what I have to do. 2013 sure will be an eventful, busy year.
There is already a drug in trial that's intended to combat the refractory myeloma, should the need arise. If I do come up against that, the timeline will be just right. The drug should be fully approved and ready to go. The research has produced more in the last five years than it had it the previous twenty-five. So every year forward will bring us closer to a cure, and in the meantime produce a lot of results to keep us all going.
I'm ready for this. I'll finish the current round of chemo by the end of December. I'll then be evaluated, and if it's all good, we'll start the next course of treatment. That's one solid month of intensive chemotherapy to prep my body for the final round of chemo, which is short-term, powerful stuff.
I'll have a nice, shiny head for the nice, shiny new year. And by year's end, I'll have a nice shiny immune system, along with a very welcome remission. We'll worry about nothing. Worrying is useless, and I've learned that lesson very well.
There are a lot of lunch dates, dinner dates, etc, on hold, and I fully intend to eat each and every one of them with you. I have places I'm going to visit, so keep the bed made and ready. My kids and I love Woodloch Pines, so that's in the cards too. And I think I might even grow a mullet.
I have the best medical team I could hope for. An oncologist without peer, a nursing staff that's the most incredible group of professionals I've ever met. And while I'm free to eat and drink anything I want, I also have the guidance of a doctor who specializes in nutrition. They all do their jobs flawlessly, but with a ton of patience, compassion and concern.
But they say that attitude is 90% of the game. And that's where you all come in. My family has been a rock. My friends, you have all carried me when things got rough. Those little comments that you post mean a whole lot. Don't ever think otherwise. I can't, and don't want to, do this without you.
I'm happy, and at the moment, feeling quite well. My numbers are all good. My appetite is ok, and they have medicines that help with the digestive issues. I'm working and happy to be there. Really. It beats the hell out of staying home all the time. I don't need anything other than my family and friends.
I'm going to post a lot more stuff, so be patient. I want to have a record of the day to day, minute to minute things that will be going on. I want to show people that cancer doesn't have to win. I want to show people that life can and does go on. Every time cancer hits me, I'm going to hit back.
Thank you all so much for the support you've been giving me. It means the world to me. Love to you all.

A Good Look Around

I really should count my blessings these days . There are probably 1000 reasons why I could say life sucks. but it really doesn't.

I'm going to be frank. Life has really kicked the s*** out of me the last few years. I am a world away from where I was in 2002. While I was never rich , I earned a good living, had a comfortable home, and was able to give my kids a good life. We shared everything we had, and had a lot of good times with people.

Serious injuries cost me my Wall Street career. Merrill Lynch kicked me to the curb like a bad blind date... Just like that, 30 years down the drain.

I went into a private Financial Services business in time for the 2008 banking debacle, which basically led to people choosing between investing or eating. Guess what won?

Things were lousy. They picked up a bit in early 2010, but caved in again with the debt crises both here and in Europe. I was having a great ol' time watching my savings evaporate and seeing my 401K turn into a 1K.

There was actually a day I can remember when I literally had 8 dollars in the bank. 8. Talk about having a bad day, right?

I moved myself into a completely different direction as far as careers go. In late 2011 I joined a company that runs high-end food stores here on the East coast. I'm restarting my career at a time when many of my former peers are looking at retiring. Yay for that.

My injuries would have allowed me to take advantage of permanent disability payments. I could have spent the rest of my life collecting about $6000 per month. But that didn't sit well with me. I felt that if I could work I should work. So I turned that down, found a surgeon who put me back together and carried on.

Believe me, there are days I think about that decision... I'd be lying if I said I don't. But my kids were young, and on disability you don't go running around with children. I didn't want to live like that.

So I found the new career. I make literally 1/10th of what I once earned. I'm damned near flat broke. My home is nearly in foreclosure. I have a 15 year old car. And I have two miserable, debt-collecting lawyers taking up residence in my butt.

And now I have cancer. A rather nasty cancer at that.

So why am I lucky, huh?

Because I have my life. I have 3 kids who have rallied to my support. I have a wonderful family and awesome friends. And thanks to social media, I've come into contact with people I do consider friends, including many who are battling cancer every day.

Twitter and Facebook bring me smiles every day from people who simply remind me that I matter. People who have no reason to perk me up other than just being kind and loving.

And once in a while, even Alyssa Milano says hi to me. Yeah, I'm a dork and that makes me happy.

Pain passes, wounds heal. Love lasts forever. And I have way more love than pain.

If just one person gets hope from my life, then none of the bad stuff matters. It all fades away.

I know very well that a lot of people are battling way harder than I am, and I'd be a loser if I complained too much.

Life is good because I have my life.

Hope that makes sense.