Sad as I was to get the news, it had an additional effect on me. It was sort of a turning point.
I woke up this morning in a different frame of mind. I really believe I've kicked this cancer to the curb. Anything that's happening to me from here on in is all part of the recovery process. My kidneys are not functioning properly: it's a result of the tacrolimus medication and the doctors are carefully adjusting my medication to get the creatinine levels back to normal. My potassium levels had been very high; they've given me medicine and a specialized diet to stop that nonsense.
I've requested physical therapy. Today, a visiting nurse will be coming to my house to evaluate me and approve me for therapy. It will be small steps at first, of course, but I've got to knock this peripheral neuropathy out of my legs or at least get strong enough to bear with it.
The doctors who performed the transplant estimated my recovery time out to October, 2014. I'm not accepting that. I'm aiming at March, or sooner if possible. I'm gonna fight as hard as I can to get back to life as it was before cancer. And I'm going to fight in honor of my friends Jim, Barbara and all the other friends I've either lost or who are fighting cancer right along with me.
I'm a little angry. The EPA said it was ok for us to come back to work, one week after the September 11, 2001 attacks, and we resumed working down there. There are at least 10 of us who've either died or who are fighting cancer now.
Well fuck cancer. I'm letting go of the anger. I'm letting go of the past. I'm letting go of everything bad and gearing up for the rest of the fight.
I appreciate all the support, kindness and generosity I've received over the year and a half this battle has been going on. And I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my thoughts and words here. ( I don't actually know if many people do).
I'll be writing a lot more often. There's going to be a lot happening.
